 There is no way to avoid it, long distance relationships are hard. Or are they? An article from Glamour magazine is claiming that long distance relationships might actually be more intimate.
(Take a moment to appreciate one of the best long-distance relationships ever...Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in "Sleepless in Seattle". *swoon*)
The article states that a new study claims that women and men in long distance relationships are more likely to share more intimate thoughts and feelings than couples who live close to each other. The long distance couples may have fewer daily interactions but the interactions they do have become more meaningful.
It is not all perfect though. The article quotes licensed psychotherapist Rachel Sussman who said that technology is a driving force in long distance relationships, it does not fully cover the "loneliness factor". Second-guessing your partner can also occur when you are fighting the distance. It becomes easier to doubt them because you cannot interact with them on a daily basis. This put more stress on the relationship as a whole.
The author of the article, Gena Kaufman, says that it actually says a lot to be able to communicate without being in the same room. When the couple is together, it is easy to get distracted by other things like the TV or Twitter but when you have to make a conscious effort to talk on the phone or via webcam, it makes sense that you would end up disclosing more information.
In a journal article about long distance relationship quality, it is first acknowledged that the common perception of long distance relationships is that they are likely to fail. Because of situations like the war going on right now, long distance relationships are very much a part of our society. This article actually gives some research that is against what the Glamour article saying about how long distance relationships tend to be of a lower quality. It says that couples in long distance relationships tend to be of a lower quality than close proximity ones. It says on the other hand, that some research shows an equal amount of relationship satisfaction from close proximity relationships and long distance relationships. These findings show similar levels of intimacy, self-disclosure, and overall satisfaction with the relationship. Another set of findings agree with the Glamour article saying that if a couple is willing to make the effort to create closeness even if it cannot be physical, then they can have higher levels of intimacy. These last finding agree with what the first article stated.
The only thing wrong with the opinion of the Glamour article is the fact that it only gives one scenario. The journal article gives all of the research that has been found and examples of all of the possible outcomes of long distance relationships. It shows the readers that there is no definite answer to the age old question, "Will my long distance relationship survive?" There are too many factors, to many scenarios, and
References: Kaufman, G. (2013, July 19). Are Long Distance Relationships More Intimate? They Might Be!. Glamour. Retrieved from http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2013/07/are-long-distance-relationship.html.
Kelmer, G. G., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. S., & Markman, H. J. (2013). Relationship quality, commitment, and stability in long-distance relationships. Family Process, 52(2), 257-270. doi:10.1111/j.1545-5300.2012.01418.x
 The debate over whether or not men and women can be friends has been going on for years. There are many opinions and there seems to never be a definite answer. Friendships like Lucas and Haley from One Tree Hill are almost baffling because there is absolutely no spark ever between the two. They love each other and stick up for one another no matter what but everyone on the outside as well as the two of them know that nothing will ever come of it.
In a Glamour magazine article, a survey is reported saying that men and women can be friends but the man will probably still want to sleep with the woman. The survey also said that men, no matter what their relationship status is, are more likely to have sexual feelings toward their female friends rather than the other way around. Attached women and single women show the same level of attraction towards their male friends but attached women only wanted something to come out of that friendship if their own relationship was in trouble.
As people get older and closer to middle aged, a second questionnaire showed that the levels of attraction evened out. Middle aged men attraction to their female friends was lower than the younger men except for those who were single. While it is hard to say this is true for every friendship, it makes for interesting thoughts. Does this change depending on how close of friends you are?
In another article about behavior expectations in these kinds of friendships, we see some conflicting information. Some research shows that cross-sex friendships are very similar to same-sex friendships in that there is no romantic component from either party. Other research shows that cross-sex friendships have more qualities in common with romantic relationships rather than friendships. The conflicting research shows that these relationships are more dynamic and complex than originally predicted.
Both cross-sex friendships and same-sex friendships minimize the sexual expressions and make a point to differ in significant ways from romantic relationships. The suggestion is that more complex motives lie beneath the development of cross-sex, heterosexual friendships that do not occur in same-sex friendships. The article says that there is most likely some degree of romantic or sexual interest in the friendship. People tend to hold cross-sex friends to a different standard than same-sex because many of the qualities looked for in a close cross-sex friend are the same qualities looked for in a romantic relationship. Cross-sex friendships require both parties to make an effort to ignore sexual or romantic feelings due to possible backlash from their social circle, lack of reciprocation from one side of the friendship, or because one the friends is already involved in a romantic relationship.
These two articles complement each other in the fact that they say that romantic feelings are, to some degree, usually involved with cross-sex friendships. What the journal article failed to talk about was the difference between men and women with cross-sex friendships. Either the Glamour article was wrong or the research is not strong enough to enforce the point. That leaves the question unanswered and
References: FUHRMAN, R. W., FLANNAGAN, D., & MATAMOROS, M. (2009). Behavior expectations in cross-sex friendships, same-sex friendships, and romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 16(4), 575-596. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2009.01240.x
Marder, A. (2012, July 25). Survey Says: Of Course Men and Women Can Be Friends! (But He Still Wants To Sleep With You). Glamour. Retrieved from http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2012/07/survey-says-of-course-men-and.html.
 The first year of marriage is supposedly one of the toughest to go through. Newlyweds are learning how to merge their habits with that of their new spouse. With the divorce rate rising in more recent years, it seems smart to examine why people get married and how they stay that way.
It is important to get married for the right reasons, that much seems obvious. The problem is, however, that some people might mistake their reasons for the correct ones. In an article from Relevant magazine, author Jason Boyette tells readers "5 Expectations that Marriage Doesn't Meet". People try to base love and marriage off of what they see on TV but those expectations will, more often than not, fall flat. This is why Boyette thinks it is important for people to know that these 5 things are what marriage is not.
1) Marriage is not a cure for loneliness. With today's technology people are constantly plugged into the lives of everyone around them. Single people see couples and envy what they have. We have this need to belong and we expect our spouse to provide that sense of intimacy, comfort, and acceptance. These expectations can weigh down on a spouse who may feel that they will always fall short of expectations. Lonely single people who get married can just turn into lonely married people.
2) Marriage is not an escape from boredom. Some couples decide to get married because they are bored in their relationship. If their relationship hits a lull, they think marriage would brighten it back up. Marriage is not built-in happiness that comes after a wedding. Getting married because you are bored is a terrible idea because when you become bored with marriage, you will go looking for something else.
3) It isn't a rowdy sex romp. There's an old experiment where, in a couple's first year of marriage, you put a penny in a jar every time you have sex. In the second year of marriage, you take a penny out every time you have sex. Most likely it will take longer to get all of the pennies out than it did to put them in. People mistakenly think that marriage means sex all the time, when in reality, neither spouse will be in the mood all the time. Sex should and can remain a vital part of marriage but it still should not be the only reason to get married.
4) It isn't means to a makeover. Basically, do not marry someone who you want to change once you get them down the aisle. Marry someone for who they are before you get married, not for who you want them to turn into after.
5) It isn't an easy transition. Getting married means you have to merge your possessions, habits, and even your emotions. You have to learn to balance each other out. Some hiccups along the way are natural, you have to learn to cope with the changes and learn to live with each other.
He finishes up by saying that marriage, while it is none of these things, is a wonderful thing and if you are doing it for the right reasons then you should go for it.
In a journal article titled "Religiosity, homogamy, and marital adjustment: An examination of newlyweds in first marriages and remarriages", it brings up one other adjustment that is not mentioned in the Relevant article- religion. Different religious beliefs are not necessarily a reason to not get married but extremely different beliefs can cause some problems.
Some findings have shown that high religiosity relates to happier and more stable marriages. Newlyweds who are very religious show a higher amount of marital adjustment. In the same sense, those who have the same religious denomination also show high levels of marital adjustment. The similarities between the two make it easier to cope with the practice of living with someone after marriage. The first article could have mentioned something about religion playing a role in the adjustment of newlyweds. You should not marry someone just because of religious similarity but having religious similarity is not a bad thing. It can possibly help with the change to married life and should be seen as a benefit to newlyweds.
References:
Boyette, J. (2013, Febuary 21). A5 Expectations Marriage Doesn't Meet. Relevant. Retrieved from http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/22399-5-things-marriage-isnt.
Schramm, D., Marshall, J., Harris, V., & Lee, T. (2012). Religiosity, homogamy, and marital adjustment: An examination of newlyweds in first marriages and remarriages. Journal Of Family Issues, 33(2), 246-268. doi:10.1177/0192513X11420370
 Movies have been made about, people tweet about it, it is everywhere. This "it" is friends with benefits. A relatively new term meaning sex without the strings of a relationship tying a person down. With the phrase becoming more popular, it becomes increasingly important to look at what consequences can happen because of it.
One article from Cosmopolitan magazine is titled "The Big Fat Myth About Friends With Benefits" and discusses how people generally think that FWB is a bad idea but research gives a different answer. Movies like "Friends With Benefits" starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis make FWB seem like these relationships always end with love. However, that is not the case. More shockingly, though, is that many of them do not end in wrecked friendships either. The statistics given in this article are interesting. It says that, in a Michigan State study, 60 percent of college students admitted that they have been in a FWB relationship before. Only 10 percent of those relationships turned into an actual romantic relationship though. This makes movies like "Friends With Benefits" even more unrealistic. Many people reason that they do not want to ruin their friendship by making it a FWB situation but only 26 percent of the students polled who answered yes said that it wrecked their friendship. That is 74 percent of FWB relationships that do not destroy a friendship. The article quotes the study's coauthor Dr. Timothy Levine who said,
"Most people who enter friends with benefits relationships don't want a relationships, but still have sexual needs. And they likely conclude that sleeping with a friend is safer than sleeping with a stranger," said Levine.
More often than not, these people are just using each other until they find someone they want to be in a relationship with. There is also a surprisingly low amount of passion in FWB relationships, they do not sleep together because of passion, they sleep together because they have no better options. Basically, if you enter into a FWB relationship secretly hoping something more will happen, it most likely will not. If you are the kind of person who is not hoping for a relationship, then FWB will most likely be okay for you.
In a journal article titled "Romantic Partners, Friends, Friends with Benefits, and Casual Acquaintances as Sexual Partners", differences between sexual relations with a friend, with an acquaintance, and with romantic partners is discussed. There are differences between connection in these different types.
This article brings up an interesting point that, while sexual behavior has been studied, the nature of the sexual relationship has not been nearly as much. Most of the research is about romantic couples or married couples but, for young adults today, that is not always the context of the relationship. It gives some interesting statistics like 25 percent of people have sex for the first time with a friend, stranger, or someone they date occasionally. Also, more than one half of sexually active adolescents have had sex with a nonromantic partner. The stats it gives for college students "hooking up" for one night only is about 70 percent and very close to what the Cosmopolitan article said.
What else is interesting is that the Cosmopolitan article failed to mention the other categories of relationships. Some people may consider having sexual relations with an acquaintance but not with a friend. These both could be called "friends with benefits" but, in reality, the relationships before sexual relations happen are very different. Also, hooking up means different things to different people so calling someone a friend with benefits does not necessarily mean sexual intercourse.
Both articles discuss the idea of friends with benefits but the Cosmopolitan article leaves out details that could change how people view a FWB relationship. Just like people have different definitions of sex
References:
Furman, W. (2011). Romantic Partners, Friends, Friends with Benefits, and Casual Acquaintances as Sexual Partners. Journal Of Sex Research, 48(6), 554. doi:10.1080/00224499.2010.535623
Kylstra, C. The Big Fat Myth About Friend With Benefits. Cosmopolitan. http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/friends-with-benefits-relationships.
 It is a common dating issue: meeting the parents. While it is not always as dramatic as Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller in "Meet the Parents", it is still a big step that holds a lot of weight for most people. The questions that come to mind when thinking about this particular topic are things like, "What do we talk about?" and "Why is it such a big deal anyway?"
An article by Glamour magazine called "11 Things To Know Before You Meet Your Boyfriend's Parents" addressed the first question. Some people choose to go into the situation without preparing at all beforehand but, unfortunately, that can possibly damage the parents' first impression. You could say something to offend them, their beliefs, or even your partner. This article gives some topics that you could talk about as well as things you should clarify with your partner before taking this step forward.
First would be learning what their political affiliation is. It is probably better to avoid the topic all together but, if it comes up, it is good to know where they stand. Second, is avoid any taboo topics like an ex, alcoholism, etc. There is no reason to bring up questionable topics. Next, is how the parents felt about your partner's previous relationship. Did they like the person? Did they love the person so much that they might wish you were just like that? After that, make sure you know what they do/do not know about your relationship. For example, ask your partner if they know you two live together or not. The next one is how you should address them. You can ask your partner this or the parents themselves. If you are short on conversation, ask them about their work. What they do, how long they have done it, or something similar. If they do not work though, do not ask. Then, you could ask about sports or music. Are they die hard Red Sox fans or do they always go to John Mayer concerts together? Find out what they like. Check with your partner about how their parents feel about things like drinking. Some may approve, some may not. Also check and see how they feel about PDA. If they strongly disapprove, it is better to know beforehand. A big topic to know is whether or not they are strongly religious. While religion can be a taboo topic, it is better to know how they feel about things like saying grace before eating. Lastly, you need to know how they feel about you sharing a bedroom with your partner. Some parents will never be okay with it unless their child is married.
These are all important rules because they can affect your relationship with the people who raised your partner. That can hold a lot of weight and you do not want to mess it up because of a silly error. What is interesting to note is that, though the article goes into what you should and should not talk about with the parents of your partner, is does not mention why this first impression is such a big deal. That is where the journal article "Mom, dad, meet my mate: an evolutionary perspective on the introduction of parents and mates" comes into play. This article delves into the questions about why this introduction is such a big deal for most people.
This article says they there is no real evidence as to why this meeting is so important. However, they hypothesize that it comes down to seeking approval and feedback from parental figures. It also shows the seriousness of their commitment to their partner. The article also states that partners may want to meet the parents of their significant other in order to see how their partner may look when the get older, what kind of health that could have, and some family resources that could be available to them if the relationship continues. The introduction of partner to parents is significant to both sides because it show the seriousness of the commitment and the potential for someone to be a long term mate. As the Glamour article states, meeting the parents can be stressful on the partner but it fails to mention the stress that can occur with the other partner and their parents. The parents may stress about not seeming to judgmental or not being judgmental enough. The other partner can stress about their significant other making a good impression and what could happen if the parents do not approve. The Glamour article also does not mention the difference between meeting the parents as a female versus meeting them as a male. Daughters tend to hold more weight with their parents opinion of a partner than sons do , according to the "Meet my mate" article.
Overall, the articles agree with each other but the Glamour article could have included more points of view. It could have addressed what the parents might be nervous about and how you, as the reader, can address those concerns.
References:
Fisher, M., & Salmon, C. (2013). Mom, dad, meet my mate: An evolutionary perspective on the introduction of parents and mates. Journal Of Family Studies, 19(1), 99.
Howaboutwe. (2013, August 9). 11 Things To Know Before Meeting Your Boyfriend's Parents. Glamour. http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2013/08/11-things-you-must-know-before.html
 Choosing a roommate that you are compatible with is not always an easy task. There are many factors that go into the decision and, sometimes, your first instinct is not correct.
In an article from Relevant magazine, readers are brought up to speed on some basic questions you should ask any potential new roommate. The article is called, "The Roommate Survival Guide: 5 questions to ask before you start sharing your space" and it brings to light some important issues that should be addressed.
The article begins with talking about how most people picture their roommate situation working out. Many people think it will be just like Chandler and Joe from FRIENDS (pictured above) but, most of the time, that is not the case. Whether you are in college or just out of college, the living situation you find yourself in can make or break your everyday mood and routine. It is smart to think about your roommate situation just like you would any other long term relationship and ask the questions that need to be asked.
The first question pointed out is about what the person values. Do they expect you to be at church every Sunday morning? Do they respect your prized N*SYNC collection? You have to respect each other's values even if they are completely different from your own. The second question is about whether or not your roommate is considerate. Considerate means different things to different people so it is smart to have a "trial run" if at all possible. Give your potential roommate a test to see how hospitable they are, that way you can see a glimpse of how they might be as a roommate. The third question is about whether or not you admire this person. Do they do things that you want to do yourself? If you admire their personality, outlook on life, and how they interact with people then they will most likely be someone you would want to live with. The next question is "Do they encourage you to grow?" As you get older and have a better chance of getting to be pickier about who your roommate(s) are, look for someone who will help you become a better version of yourself. You do not have to be best friends with them but you should be able to be "house friends" because this person will be with you at random times when you just need someone. Lastly, is this person fun? You do not want to be bored with your place or your roommate. You want someone who will not go crazy every night but will also be willing to just kick back and have a good time with you every now and then.
Chances are, you will not always have a roommate you love. You may get frustrated and lose patience. Use the opportunities to learn and see how you can change things in the future.
A journal article called, "Deciding to Dissolve: Individual and Relationship Level Predictors of Roommate Breakup" discusses the relationship between roommates and how that can affect knowing when to move out or when they should move out.
The article begins by reminding readers that it is easier to study how roommates select each other than it is to study when they want to "breakup". Moments of dissolution can be hard to define and there has not been much research about what factors cause roommates to end their relationship. This article determines three big reasons that roommates find dissolution with their circumstances. They are, 1) one's own goals, opportunities, and personality, 2) the roommate's goals, opportunities, and personality, and 3) the relationship between the two. The Relevant article and this journal article both address issues with roommates but one concentrates on how to pick a roommate and the other concentrates on predicting the demise of roommate relationships. They both should have incorporated both sides but did not.
The "Deciding to Dissolve" article looks at relationship dissolution for nonromantic relationships by deciding when to terminate a college roommate relationship. It points out that many of the same characteristics used to end a friendship are also used to end a roommate relationship. This seems obvious to me because, whether or not you mean for it to happen, you have to develop some kind of friendship with your roommate. As the Relevant article said, you need to be "house friends". They will see you at your low points and you will see them at theirs. That is what happens, unintentionally or not. In this way, the two articles agree with each other and bring together a fact that is important when selecting a roommate and when knowing when to leave a roommate.
References:
Bahns, A. J., Crandall, C. S., Canevello, A., & Crocker, J. (2013). Deciding to Dissolve: Individual- and Relationship-Level Predictors of Roommate Breakup. Basic & Applied Social Psychology, 35(2), 164-175. doi:10.1080/01973533.2013.764301
Riggs, L. (2012, September 14). The Roommate Survival Guide. Relevant. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/roommate-survival-guide.
 Katy Perry & Russell Brand. Breaking up is never an easy thing to do. One of the biggest challenges facing couples today is , when they feel a relationship needs to end, they don't know how to handle it. More importantly, they don't know how to move on from it. While it used to be as simple as just not calling each other, now we have technology that allows us to follow our ex and their every move.
In one magazine article titled, "The New Breakup...And How to Survive It" readers are told about how everything involved in breakups has changed. Everything except the actual heartbreak, that is.
The article, and author Rebecca Walker, start out by talking about how people try so hard to rush the breaking up process nowadays with men and women breaking up via email, text message, sometimes even just a Facebook update. Russell Brand and Katy Perry were married and he asked for a divorce over a text message. There are even such things as divorcee specials at certain spas and divorce party planners to help you "celebrate" your breakup.
At the same time, Walker tells a story about a relationship she had as a teenager that she thought would last forever. It ended because of distance but there was never an actual breakup. She talks about how, when she thought too much about what would've happened if she had stayed in that relationship, it made her panic about her current partner. She goes on to say this:
"While it is natural to nurture lingering feelings of love, loss, regret, or righteous anger, those feelings can destroy your current relationship by holding some secret part of yourself hidden and unavailable, or they can keep you stuck in a cycle of loneliness, unable to forge something new...A clean slate must be found," Walker said.
Walker also gives some ground rules for both the dumper and the dumpee. For the dumper she said to never end a relationship via text message, don't say you want space when you really just want to break up, during the breakup just focus on the main points not every little thing that went wrong, and lastly be kind, honest and respectful. You are the one ending things so you need to be patient and let the other person process the breakup. For the dumpee, Walker had this to say. Write all the angry emails you want but just don't send them, disconnect as much as you can from the person, and remember that this isn't your only relationship. The last one means that you have other loved ones in your life and you should lean on them if you are having a hard time.
In a journal articled titled, "Choosing Compassionate Strategies to End a Relationship", authors Susan Sprecher, Corinne Zimmerman, and Erin M. Abrahams discuss how people choose different strategies to initiate a breakup. They talk about how levels of compassion will affect which strategy you choose to pursue. Compassionate strategies were chosen more often when the breakup was external and not because of partner betrayal. This article looking at breakup strategies from the point of view of the initiator since they are the one with the greater desire for the relationship to end.
The article goes on to talk about how not much is known about the compassionate way to end a relationship. The authors pose the question: Are people who experience more compassionate love for others (and their partner in particular) more compassionate in their strategies to end a relationship?
One difference that is discussed in this journal article that it not brought up in the Glamour article is that a breakup is not a singular event but a process. There are generally phases that people go through to end a relationship. The stages involve things like an individuals awareness of relationship problems and continue to the next stage where partners talk to each other or close friends about their dissatisfaction with their significant other. While the Glamour article discussing how a relationship should be ended, the journal article tells that most people still do not do that. They do other things like withdrawing from and avoiding partner, having a third party breakup with your partner for you, positive tone strategies, and opening saying how you want to breakup.
The Glamour article gives ways to handle breakups and how to initiate a breakup but it fails to talk about the fact that every personality and relationship is different which would mean that each breakup will be handled differently. There is not one way that every person needs to handle their situation.
References:
Sprecher, S., Zimmerman, C., & Abrahams, E. M. (2010). Choosing compassionate strategies to end a relationship: Effects of compassionate love for partner and the reason for the breakup. Social Psychology, 41(2), 66-75. doi:10.1027/1864- 9335/a000010
Walker, R. (2013, December). The New Breakup...And How to Survive It. Glamour, 167-170.
 Sibling rivalry can be a dangerous thing. There is a competition aspect that seems to occur in various parts of life for every set of siblings, whether intended or not. An article in Teen Vogue titled, "Pulling a Pippa: Sibling Rivalry" talks about the sibling rivalry that ever set of siblings, though mostly focusing on females, face at some point in their relationships. It begins with a comparison to the famous sister duo of Kate and Pippa Middleton. On Kate's wedding day to Prince William, Pippa stole the show in a form fitting, beautiful dress that was also white like her sister's. It goes on to say that most sisters will never have to deal with rivalry on a public stage like the Middleton sisters do, they will all have to deal with rivalry in some form at some point. The article quotes a resident of the Ackerman Institute for the Family named Lois Braverman. "Sisters compete on a number of levels: parental attention, academic performance, beauty. Historically, sisters have always been set up in some ways by the culture to be in competition. In the 1950s it was about who had the better marriage. For young women today, there's a tremendous amount of pressure to be both attractive and accomplished," said Braverman. Some sibling rivalry is described as normal. When a new child enters the picture, it takes a while for the older one to understand what that means. Ill feelings can happen because the attention is now focused on the newest child and no longer on the older sibling. Maintaining even scores between siblings can become difficult and is not always possible. It gives the example of an older sister, Madison, who ran a certain track event until her younger sister, Ali, tried it and beat her record. This caused Madison to lose confidence in herself and forced her to try other events until she found one that suited her better. In the end, it worked out for them but in other cases, events like this caused even more rivalry between the two. Younger siblings, more often than not, have a harder finding their own spotlight to stand in. They have to establish their own identity to avoid being expected to be just like the older sibling. Younger siblings tend to have a hard time because the older siblings are the trailblazers. While both siblings need to admire each other, they also have to respect their separate identities. Competing with a sibling can be hard but it can also be a bonding experience because you are learning about what the other person is good at, what you are good at, and what you can do together. It is natal to want to carve your own way in life but it is okay to lean on your sibling sometimes, too. In a journal article titled, "Sibling Relationships in the College Years: Do Gender, Birth Order, and Age Spacing Matter?", the topic of closeness in college age or young adult sibling relationships is discussed. The article discusses the importance of studying sibling relationships in all stages of life because conclusions can be drawn about how siblings affect each other's lives. By looking at their relationships throughout their life span, it can show how their closeness could change them later.
No sibling relationship is the same as anyone else's but, for the most part, sibling relationships are usually healthy. Unlike friendships, sibling relationships are not chosen which makes the dynamic very different from a friendship. This article also brings up the fact that parental attitudes and possible favoritism can affect sibling relationships as well. Not only can that affect how siblings view their relationship with each other but it can also affect how they feel about themselves individually.
As the Teen Vogue article states, competition between siblings can be hazardous to a relationship if not dealt with in the right way. The "Sibling Relationships" article agrees, saying that siblings during adolescence have to deal with more feelings of jealousy and conflict which can create distance in the relationship. By the time the siblings reach early adulthood, they are having to essentially rebuild a relationship with their sibling while still trying to maintain their own identity. These sibling relationships become more important because the support is helpful when dealing with tough issues like the death of a parent.
Overall the articles agree with each other and enforce the idea of importance in sibling relationships. The different stages of life call for different things between siblings and show that every sibling relationship is different. Managing these relationships can increase a person's commitment and compassion in every relationship they may encounter.
References:
Keltner de Valle, J. (2011). Pulling a Pippa: Sibling Rivalry. Teen Vogue, Van Volkom, M., Machiz, C., & Reich, A. E. (2011). Sibling Relationships in the College Years: Do Gender, Birth Order, and Age Spacing Matter?. North American Journal Of Psychology, 13(1), 35-50. http://www.teenvogue.com/advice/family-advice/2011-08/sibling-rivalry
 Have you ever realized that you no longer feel the need to get married? Or that you've been with the same person for years, maybe live together and/or have kids but you're completely content? If you answered yes, you're not alone. Many adults in today's generation have the trappings of marriage without the paperwork. These couples now have a name associated with them- "nearlyweds". So what are the biggest the advantages and disadvantages of being one of these couples? Some articles like the one found in Glamour magazine entitled, "Are you a Nearlywed?" give examples from both side of the argument. But with comparisons to celebrity couples like Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick (pictured left), who have been together of years without marriage, it becomes obvious which side the writer prefers. The article asks several couples and experts from each side of the "marriage or not?" argument to appear unbiased. For the people on the no marriage side, there are statistics given to emphasis the point that there are quite a few couples participating in this way of life. With comparisons to Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn or Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, the article says that almost three quarters of women have lived with a partner by age 30. That is up 19 percent since the year 1995. Among women who are under the age of 45, twice as many move in with someone as women who get married first. Nearlyweds are not just never-getting-married couples, they are also couples who are engaged but just have no desire to rush into setting a date. Many women now say being a nearlywed is just as good as being married. Some couples have even gotten to the point where they are signing a new kind if prenup called a "prehab" for when couples live together. One woman, Sophia Lormeus, had this to say. "Society has made being married more important than having a great relationship, and I already have that. He treats me so well and will be such a fantastic father, it feels insulting to think we are not truly committed just because we're not married."
For may other people, nearlywedding is less scary and permanent than actually tying the knot. With education costs rising, job opportunities low, and divorce rates rising, many young adults are scared to depend wholly on others. Today, people want to be financially secure and have their career together which can take a long time in today's economy. In the meantime, they fall in love and want to be with somebody. Basically, these couples see being nearlyweds as a test run before jumping into marriage. They believe it can keep you from making a big mistake.
The other side of the argument, the pro-marriage people, say that nearlywedding is for people who are only concerned with having an easy way out. Research has shown that relationships are successful when there is a high level of commitment, relationships are more successful. That high level of commitment is rare unless you sign a contract. If something goes wrong in your nearlywed relationship, you start to doubt your partner. If you're married, it's easier to think that the other person is just being a jerk and you will work it out.
The idea of being a nearlywed seen as people who want an escape hatch and it gives them the opportunity to have their cake and eat it, too. Anytime you have financial troubles or you see someone who you think might be better than your current partner, there is the thought, "I can get out". Danielle Marshall said this about her nearlywed relationship.
"It felt like I was always in limbo."
The articles finishes with "How to be a happy nearlywed". This tells us to talk to our partner about our expectations from the relationship first, before things get more complicated. It goes on to say keep talking, meaning discuss how the relationship is going every once in a while to make sure you both feel secure. Lastly, it says to make a prefab before you move in with your partner. It protects your rights and your things in case things go awry.
Neil Shah from the Wall Street Journal disagrees with the statement that being a nearlywed is easier than being married. He agrees that high unemployment and rising poverty affects our cohabiting but he says that it makes it harder rather than easier. Those issues fuel instability in relationships which would make transitioning your life with someone else's like that more unstable. He goes on to say that Americans will probably start to avoid cohabiting just like some are avoiding marriage now. His statistics also differ from the statistics given in the magazine article. While cohabiting was rising, it appears to have leveled out in the 2000s years saying about 60 percent of people lived together before marriage.
References: Dreisbach, S. (2013, September). Are You a Nearlywed?. Glamour.
Shah, N. (2013, Sep 12). U.S. news: Living together before marriage stalls. Wall Street Journal. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/1431590998?accountid=14472
This article proved to be very interesting. The main idea of the article is that divorce between a young adult's parents changes how they act and respond to romantic relationships of their own. The article goes on to say that young adults, whose parents divorced, had a more favorable outlook on divorce. Having this positive attitude toward divorce causes them to be less committed to their romantic relationships and therefore have less successful romantic relationships.
The article reminds the readers that, until recently, it was assumed that young adult relationships were of no importance. However, researchers are now saying that there are several reasons that we should observe these relationships closely. The first reason is that the formation and maintenance of these relationships are critical for young adults to transition into being adults. The second is the development and downfall of these relationships affect young adults' well-being and behaviors. Lastly, the patterns of young adult relationships can be predictors of how they will handle romantic relationships in adulthood. After reading these three reasons, I would have to say I agree with these researchers. As a former teen whose parents went through a separation and divorce, I can say that it largely affected my romantic relationships and probably always will. This article mainly talks about how some young adults' react to parental divorce but it is not defining universal reactions to the situation. For the most part, the study of parental divorce on young adults is limited. While not all reactions are the same, this article is focused mainly on how parental divorce can affect the downfall of young adults' relationships through different perceptions of divorce, attitudes of divorce, and commitment to one's romantic relationship.
The article talks about the cognitive-developmental model which was developed by Jean Piaget. He conducted a study where he observed children reasoning and understanding things differently based on their age. He deducted that all children go through cognitive stages of development just like they go through physical stages. He says that the rate at which they go through these stages may vary but they all eventually pass through them in the same order. The article helps support this theory and compares it by saying that close relationships and development in one stage of life builds on the stage and development from an earlier time.
We know that in today's world, nearly half of marriages end in divorce. Due to these rising numbers, it is important to discover how young adults who come from families with parental divorce deal with finding their own romantic relationships. This goes back to the cognitive-development model and the building of one stage onto another. Memories and past experiences, like parental divorce, can change or affect cognitive representations. The article also goes on to talk about the social learning theory. This theory was developed by Albert Bandura and says that children learn through their environment and observation of others. They learn based on seeing what the people around them do in certain situations. If applicable to young adults with divorcing parents, it would mean that these young adults would be learning how to handle relationships or marriages based on what they saw their parents, whose marriage ultimately demised, doing.
After seeing this article, it brings to mind a couple of questions. Will there ever be a way to have parental divorce not affect young adults? If young adults were educated on the issues facing them should their parents get divorced before it happens, could it change how they view the divorce process and their future romantic relationships?
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